not my
not not good at things being my fault. or not. maybe worse at things being other people's fault and i didn't do the necessary checking, or...
i'm not explaining this well.
work was hard today. i thought i finished a big task on monday afternoon. a big big task that took two weeks start to finish, a giant organizing of fabrics and patterns and colors at work, and a compiling of the data into three different kinds of reference, wait, four different kinds of reference lists (done without filemaker pro. according to the boy, filemaker pro would have made this all a cinch, but i don't have filemaker pro. i have word. and excel. and know how to use either only marginally), and a printing and collating and a hole punching and a stapling and a packaging of all those lists. and a re-do-ing of all the fabrics, all 339 of the fabrics. and i sent all that paperwork with instructions out to the various showrooms yesterday, ups ground.
it was about 1 when the phone calls started. people had started, on my instructions, on their re-organizations and things, well, things were not going well.
with 339 fabrics, one might think, they were bound not to.
i am really bad at delegating.
let me tell you why:
everytime i try, things end up very badly for me. i end up having to listen to someone yell at me, which makes me very uncomfortable, as one might imagine (doubly so when the person is not only your boss, but your father), and biting my tongue to resist the temptation to say "no! i delegated! you wanted me to delegate! and i did, and look!" which would be so tawdry and unprofessional. so i stand there and say, "i should have checked it. i mean, i did check it, i thought, but i should have checked it again. and again."
and so i come home, with work, and spend 3 hours checking and checking and checking again (and again and again and again and again), and i have to go back to work tomorrow and fix it. and the person who really made the mistake left work early, and thus avoided the yelling or the death ray glare i would have sent over while i was being yelled at, knowing, KNOWING, just how far up the river they sent me.
i have a hard time with things being my fault, mostly because i try SO HARD for things not to be my fault. my own work, i check with wild abandon, hoping that other people do the same. but then again, i signal EVERY SINGLE TIME i turn or change lanes.
i am not liking these blog posts lately. i sound whiny.
soon i will post a list of good things, i promise.
xo
i'm not explaining this well.
work was hard today. i thought i finished a big task on monday afternoon. a big big task that took two weeks start to finish, a giant organizing of fabrics and patterns and colors at work, and a compiling of the data into three different kinds of reference, wait, four different kinds of reference lists (done without filemaker pro. according to the boy, filemaker pro would have made this all a cinch, but i don't have filemaker pro. i have word. and excel. and know how to use either only marginally), and a printing and collating and a hole punching and a stapling and a packaging of all those lists. and a re-do-ing of all the fabrics, all 339 of the fabrics. and i sent all that paperwork with instructions out to the various showrooms yesterday, ups ground.
it was about 1 when the phone calls started. people had started, on my instructions, on their re-organizations and things, well, things were not going well.
with 339 fabrics, one might think, they were bound not to.
i am really bad at delegating.
let me tell you why:
everytime i try, things end up very badly for me. i end up having to listen to someone yell at me, which makes me very uncomfortable, as one might imagine (doubly so when the person is not only your boss, but your father), and biting my tongue to resist the temptation to say "no! i delegated! you wanted me to delegate! and i did, and look!" which would be so tawdry and unprofessional. so i stand there and say, "i should have checked it. i mean, i did check it, i thought, but i should have checked it again. and again."
and so i come home, with work, and spend 3 hours checking and checking and checking again (and again and again and again and again), and i have to go back to work tomorrow and fix it. and the person who really made the mistake left work early, and thus avoided the yelling or the death ray glare i would have sent over while i was being yelled at, knowing, KNOWING, just how far up the river they sent me.
i have a hard time with things being my fault, mostly because i try SO HARD for things not to be my fault. my own work, i check with wild abandon, hoping that other people do the same. but then again, i signal EVERY SINGLE TIME i turn or change lanes.
i am not liking these blog posts lately. i sound whiny.
soon i will post a list of good things, i promise.
xo
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