alone.

so, the boy left this morning for san francisco, for mac world. and i, like nika, am just starting to figure out how different boys and girls are.

well, for one, he left at noon. he didn't even get out of bed until 10, having not yet packed, not yet found a coat to wear in weather rumored to be freezing, though he had not checked the weather. he did not know the name of the hotel he was heading for. he had not shopped for road snacks. wasn't even sure what he was going to wear on the drive.

i pack for a trip to my grandmother's house a day in advance, AND i dress for the weather there, and she only lives half an hour away. but i'm a girl.

and for now, at least until sunday, i am a girl who lives alone. mind you, i am a girl who has lived alone a lot. in fact, i am a girl who has always LOVED living alone. today though...it feels strange. this house feels very q u i e t. the dogs seem too sleepy. outside seems too cold. this seems like a MUCH bigger city than it did at ten this morning, when i was still in bed, next to the boy, wondering when on earth he was going to get his ass in gear and out of dodge.

i have, in spite of myself, turned into a chicken. so much so that i invited my mom over for dinner, she's been gone for one hour, and i'm thinking about taking a bath and going to bed...

which i just might do, given that tomorrow i...(dum dum dum) start work again. did you know that i have not gone to work since the middle of november? remember how i was so sick? really, i was feeling better by the week before christmas, and after that gluttony of tests and pokes and prods and medications, turns out it was the medications that did it (got me sick, not got me well), kind of. so now i'm better, all better. and going back to work tomorrow.

and not only is my lunch packed, but i know what i'm going to wear...

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Nika said…
karl was delivering art down in the sf area during the week too. he left wednesday morning and got back saturday night. i went shopping with a friend on wed, dinner at my mom's house on thurs, did some busy work on fri and generally filled my time with anything handy.

we can sit around for hours without really interacting much, but he is there. alone feels rather strange now.

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