what happens when i am not allowed to eat for (almost) two days, and then have anything that might have been hanging around in my colon pumped out:

i find myself unable to get home without stopping at spudnuts (out of potato flour! here's to one kind of white flour simple carbohydrate being way better for you than another!), and buying, with what was left of my money for parking, 13 donuts of the chocolate, chocolate chip, chocolate rainbow sprinkled, chocolate french, and chocolate variety. and then rushing them in their pretty pink box home. and then eating 5 (6?) in ten minutes. and then eating nothing else, for the rest of the day. and then falling into a near diabetic coma for 3 hours and missing beyonce on oprah. and then, when my mom comes by to check on me, forcing the half empty box into her hands and begging "take.it.away. for the love of god".

and lastly, of course, having one hell of a sugar hangover tummy ache the next day.